Heartfelt friendship and weddings

There's something special about real friendship. True friends are the kind of people that you can know for years, and yet even if you don't end up hanging out quite as often as you had before, the feeling of kinship never goes away.

When you are with a true friend, it doesn't matter if you last spoke a year ago, picking up the thread of conversation is as natural and as easy as if you'd last spoken the previous afternoon.

Even though this wedding was last September, I have been wanting to write a blog post about it ever since then, so here are my belated congratulations to the happy couple.

This wedding is all about friendship, come on in and let me tell you why. 

When Norm met Kim, it was that kind of instant friendship, one that is so critical to a good marriage. He told me repeatedly in the days leading up to the wedding, "She is my best friend." When someone tells me that, I know that their wedding and relationship are going to be a solid success. They had met years previously, and yet at their second meeting, many years later, the planets all aligned for them, and just being around the two of them for their wedding, you could feel the deep friendship and spark of true love that flowed between them. 


Friendship has another part to play in this wedding also. I have considered Norm a true friend for nearly twenty years now. We have seen each others children born and our respective love relationships go through their ups and downs. We have shared deep conversation, desperate emotion, good times and bad, and through all of it, we carried a deep connection of friendship that was not dependent on when or where or how often we spoke. 


All weddings are an honor and a pleasure, but this one in particular was an immense honor and a deeply satisfying pleasure, as I saw my great friend Norm be so incredibly happy with his best friend Kim. Congratulations to Norm and Kim, and may your friendship and love eternally endure and continue to blossom.

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The tradition of broom jumping in weddings & handfastings

Fairy Broom
Originally uploaded by bluheron

Many couples want to "jump the broom" at the end of their ceremony. This is one of the oldest marriage traditions from the British Isles, predating even the handfast cord. Some scholars have traced the broom-jumping tradition to a centuries-old Welsh custom, priodas coes ysgub, or "broom-stick wedding". In the early 16-18th centuries in the Americas, broom-jumping was widely practiced among the slave community as their only recognized form of marriage, although it is somewhat unclear whether the slaves imported this custom from Africa or picked up the practice from American Southerners who brought the practice from the British Isles. (Dundes, Alan: ""Jumping the Broom": On the Origin and Meaning of an African American Wedding Custom")

The broom as it is used today in marriage or handfasting ceremonies represents the threshold of the home, and jumping the broom is symbolic of entering a new home together. Even if couples are already sharing a home or are currently married and are renewing their vows, jumping the broom can help symbolize entering a new stage of their relationship, and the leaving behind of old thoughts, behaviors and patterns between the two.

Many witches, wiccans and pagans are already familiar with the usage of the broom as a symbolic way of sweeping out old energies and clearing away negativity. This is also a great usage of it in a wedding, and helps the couple to come together with a "clean slate".

I normally recommend that a new broom be purchased just for the ceremony in order to avoid bringing prior energies into the ceremony, however, a broom can be part of the preparations for a wedding as well. The broom can be decorated with ribbons, flowers, crystals, charms or other items which the couple would like to help symbolize their "fresh start". After the ceremony, the broom is hung above the main entrance door of the home, as a daily reminder of the ceremony and the new life it brings.

The fairy broom featured in this post was one that was very special to the bride and groom throughout their relationship. The bride explained to me that the groom had once brought her a small trinket that she tied onto a small decorative broom that she had in her home. This started a tradition in their relationship where they would add other items to this broom to remember special times in their courtship. When it came time for the wedding, it was an important part of the ceremony to have this broom present. While not every couple incorporates a broom into their early times together, it's a great memory for this couple, and an interesting idea for other wiccan or pagan couples to think about.

Here in Utah, there are several stores which carry ceremonial brooms, and one of the stores with the best selection of brooms is Elemental Inspirations in Sugarhouse. You can also check online for some really beautiful hand-carved custom brooms at http://www.impressbylirica.com/
or check out the Broom Magic site here: http://www.broommagic.com.
The Broom Magic site has some great prices on basic Witches' ceremonial besoms
as well as some nice carved kitchen brooms.

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Barley water, a non-alcoholic mead alternative

Barley
Originally uploaded by tillwe

Following on my last topic regarding mead, here's a viable alternative beverage for your traditional pagan or celtic wiccan wedding (or variant thereof). Barley water is an ancient beverage, and is still a hugely popular drink in England. Made with honey, it's a great alternative to mead if for some reason you do not wish to (or don't have time) to use, make or acquire mead. Barley water can be made very quickly, and being made with honey and the ancient and nourishing grain, barley, still retains the symbolic qualities of beauty, fertility and joy. Most, if not all of the ingredients can be obtained at any grocery store here in Utah.

Barley is one of the most ancient of cultivated grains, with archaeological evidence from the ancient Middle East stretching back over 9,000 years.

Honey
Originally uploaded by venkane

The ancient Celts drank a precursor to the modern ale, made with fermented barley and herbs. If you are fond of working with Greek or Roman deities or mythology, a drink called the Kykeon was used at the Elusinian mysteries, and it was said to be composed of water, barley and mint.

Barley water in various forms has been used for millenia, with countless regional and cultural variations. It has been touted as a cure for bad skin, a panacea for digestive problems, and in the case of the Kykeon, fermented barley water contaminated with a form of ergot was suspected by some scientists to be the cause of the hallucinations reported by attendees of the rites of Eleusis. Another version of barley water is often sold in Mexico and the US - called horchata, it can be made with barley, rice or chufa (a root).

You can use the same recipe for both drinks. If you are making the Kykeon-style drink, omit the lemon rind from the boiling step.

British traditional lemon barley water

2 qts. water
2 c pearled barley
1 c. honey
rind of 1 lemon, sliced
juice of 3 lemons

Put barley, water, lemon rind in a large stockpot and bring to boiling, then simmer covered for about 20-30 minutes, or until barley is soft and slightly overcooked. You'll need to add more water to the pot as the barley absorbs the water as it cooks. The best way to do this is to note where the water line is when you start and try to keep it near that level until the barley is done cooking. Strain off the liquid from the barley into a pitcher or bowl. If you don't enjoy drinking thicker liquids, you can strain the water once more through a cheesecloth or similar filter to remove some of the barley solids in the water. Next, stir in the honey (to taste, you can add more or less than 1 c.) while it is still warm. Add the juice of the lemons to taste. Kept in the refrigerator, it should be good for up to 3-4 days, so it can be made in advance of the ceremony.

For Kykeon-style barley water:

Omit lemon rind from boiling and juice from final step.
Add fresh mint to taste, usually 1/4 c. fresh crushed mint leaves are sufficient unless you like a more strongly flavored drink. If you're not a strict traditionalist, you can sweeten with honey as desired.

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